.marvel.

how hard must it be to bee batman???/
the hulk is indestructible, the flash is faster than light, and superman can actually reverse time. still, batman is nothing more than a rich politician who was left an orphan. when batman takes off his dark knight shining armour he has to go back to the real world dealing with all the jokers and riddlers. to top that off he also has to deal with a two timing girlfriend going around town dressed as a black cat. and when he catches her cheating she tries to freeze him off.

iron man wears a shining suit too, and drives a cool car to match. he’s a better hero where he puts the politics away and chooses to focus on the people and his toys. he’s also lucky because his girlfriend is loyal and always by his side; hot like a pepper unlike that girl who is trying to freeze bruce off.

it’s really says something that even though superman can stop a speeding bullet, reverse time, and see through walls he still chooses to wear glasses and work at the newspaper during his day life. it just so happens that the very newspaper superman works at chronicles the happenings over in wayne’s jurisdiction too. james bond gets to take a break and let his girlfriends play a little more freely than iron man’s knowing that superman is busy butt uhhhhhhhh… it’s really all out of jealousy.

spiderman admires superman’s integrity and decides to enlist in working the newspaper also. he even goes as far as to to wear red, white, and blue just like superman too.

professor xavier sees spiderman’s hustle at the newspaper and tries to make him a web of friends to match, creating the x-men. in the middle of creating the x-men professor x summons the fantastic four except, they are on a mission to destroy spiderman.

green latern sees that the fantastic four are out to destroy spiderman and he assumes that they will attack superman too because their colors are the same. he goes and gets thor, a fellow alien, and they travel to earth. iron man notices thor and latern on their way to earth and intercepts them. they give him trouble at first but eventually believe him. meanwhile, silver surfer has cum to earth to call the fantastic four off of spiderman, deeming him only a man. when silver surfer cums to earth he sees superman and leaves knowing they are safe. silver surfer were passerbys once before. iron man gets excited that silver surfer backs up superman because he knows superman and batman are friends and batman had been beginning to become corrupt, it was even affecting spiderman man and everyone else through xavier’s web butt uhhhhhhh…. superman gets really pissed at everyone for thinking he can’t handle the fantastic four on his own and storms away.. silver surfer flies off after clark and tells him his name his noran. he tells him about what happened to krypton and promises superman a place of solitude. silver surfer sends wonder woman to clark’s side as an offering of peace and an opportunity to revive the kryptonians in solitude. superman goes on a quest to find out why the colors red, white, and blue are evil and plans to inform spiderman too.

when superman returns to earth he sees that spiderman is now friends with the fantastic four and they have a hulk. superman gets pissed again, storms off to find xavier, and returns with nothing.
noran calls superman while in battle and reminds him of the fortress. superman leaves earth once and for all and leaves earth and metropolis with captain america, red. white. and blue.

superman returns to the fortress and sees wonder woman has now donned the red, white, and blue also. he becomes enraged and returns to earth wearing an all silver suit with a red ‘s’ emblazoned.

wonder woman knows something is wrong with him and immediately gets super girl, wonder girl, and even an invisible girl! superman eventually calms down when returned to solitude with the women of justice.

it is then that batman comes begging at superman’s door. batman sees without superman he cannot live and he realizes he needs him, which is why he pays him to chronicle. batman reveals it was him causing all the crime in gotham, letting it spill into metropolis. superman does not understand and agrees to show bruce his true power anyway. superman cums back to earth one more time, this time wearing black. and batman is no match for him.

#aintshitpretty

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